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lol dude are you seriously just going to say "well you're doing something wrong if it doesn't work?" Obviously if this many people are having problems there's something wrong with your programming. Why don't you stop talking crap to people, telling them to stop crying, read the input and fix your flawed program?
I just downgraded (or upgraded) to the 5.7.0 launcher and it launches the 8.0 SC2 update fine, so obviously it's not the patch that changed things, it's your update that is causing the problems.
If you guys are getting the "unable to launch game" message, downgrade to the 5.7.0 launcher. It works with the 8.0 sc patch as well as the 7.0 AI.